Well, I've decided not to continue my discussion of yesterday's topic, at least for the time being. I'm sure there will be ample opportunities in the future to voice our thoughts and feelings about the subject as "he" the pregnant "man" is now just five months pregnant. That gives us four more months to consider the implications.

Ever feel like you go to church and can't find God? We expect God to show up at church, right? Well, for me, my recent church experiences have been rather dry. I do the ever-popular mind gymnastics and tell myself things like:

"Church is about worshiping God and fellowshipping with other believers. How dare you want to 'feel good' about your church experiences." This thought always leaves me feeling guilty, like how dare I want a personal touch from God, let alone a feel-good moment. There's certainly nothing wrong with wanting to bask in the Lord's presence.

"What do you expect, Carol? You still repeat the same sins and don't do enough 'good Christian stuff' and you're selfish. All you want is special feeling. You don't deserve it, missy." Okay, I'll agree, sometimes I still fall short in areas that I've struggled with before like gluttony, anger, unforgiveness, unbelief, etc. Thankfully, most of the time, though, I make every effort to confess and repent. The Bible tells us God's mercies are new every morning. In other words, I need not wallow in shame over already forgiven sins.

"Everyone else looks so close to God. Look at them worship. They're so happy, so free, so spiritual. Here I am going through the motions." Isn't it crazy how we assume by another person's actions that he or she must be a certain way? Just because someone seems to have it all together (whatever that looks like) doesn't mean they do. More importantly, comparing myself to you or the family in the next row is a waste of time. No wonder I don't experience God's presence in the way I desire; my focuss is on everything and everyone else.

Can anyone relate to these annoying and somewhat strange thoughts that threaten to drag us away from what's truly important? No surprise that the Bible tells us to take our thoughts captive! If we don't, they will more than captivate us, won't they?

GOOD NEWS THIS WEEKEND, actually, great news -- God showed up at church this weekend in a BIG way. It was one of those "the pastor must be reading my mail" kind of services. During worship, I couldn't get enough of God's presence and I felt the Holy Spirit filling up those empty places in my heart. Ahhhhhh ... what an awesome time!

Let us be reminded that just because we don't "feel" God the way we expect doesn't mean He isn't with us.

His Word promises us that He will never leave or forsake us. Now, granted, there will be times in our relationship with Christ when we notice a certain dryness. Goodness! Look at Job's life. This guy was doing everything right according to God's standards and he still experienced some major dry and deadly times. Based on what he was experiencing, he could have easily, like his friends, thought that God was mad at him and had abandoned him. This was so far from the truth. In fact, God was actually bragging on Job in the Heavenlies to none other than satan.

I hope this is a good reminder to not allow your feelings to dictate your understanding of God's love for you and the relationship you share.

This afternoon, I saw the most charming family film -- Nim's Island. What an adventure, full of fun and a laughter. I loved seeing Jody Foster step out of her normally serious theatrical roles. The last time I saw Ms. Foster, she was brandishing a weapon and shooting down any thug that got in her way. (The Brave One)

In this adorable movie (I really liked it ... a lot) she plays an eccentric, obsessive compulsive, agoraphobic. The story is exciting and I can now relate some of what I watched on the big screen to the topic we're discussing. Let me explain ...

Oops! I just realized that I can't continue without spoiling the story for those of you that haven't seen the movie. Wow, good thing I thought of that. I might have made a few enemies.

I guess I'll just suggest that you go to the movie and see if you, too, can find the simularities. I'll give you a hint: Toward the end of the movie, consider what Nim believes to be true about her father, then watch how it all plays out.

God is there no matter what.

Personal Update: I have completed my updates and turned in my proposal to "the publisher." I am praying that we can move forward and they sign me. I know I can make this the book they want given the opportunity.

Continue if you are a writer interested in the process:

I made a number of significant changes to the project propoal. For starters, I eliminated three chapters. I've re-slanted stories, changed my writing tone, and added and/or changed featured princess warriors to make them more up-to-date and fun, all while still sharing the message of reigning real from a Throne.

I am soooooooooooooo frustrated. I just spent two hours working on a very in-depth message in relation to this "pregnant man" story. In my opinion, and, of course, I think that I wrote a powerful piece, it was very challenging and needed to be discussed. Now it's 1:30 AM and I can't imagine trying to recreate the entry. My blog just froze when I was saving the entry and never posted it. Ahhh.

So, maybe, just maybe, I wasn't suppossed to post it? Or, maybe, just maybe, the devil (gotta hate him) didn't want it posted and managed to cause a little technical difficulty.

I guess I'll just provide the links and recommend that you go read this stuff and be ready, with love, to have sensible, truth-based, God-directed discussions about ANYTHING. In this anything goes world that we live in, we must, as the Bible says, be prepared in and out of season to share God's message.

I may try to tackle this whole story again tomorrow. I'll see where God leads.

Read some of these comments:

http://www.oprah.com/community/thread/44940

http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/2008/03/26/pregnant-man.htm

http://justjared.buzznet.com/2008/04/03/pregnant-man-oprah/

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article3628860.ece

You can find a ton more links out there.

I find this very disturbing and know the future is only going to get more disturbing. How will you respond when someone asks your thoughts or opinion on this?